it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
