I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
