yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
