I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
