Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
