My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
