1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize