nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
