Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
