google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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