It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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