Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
