i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
