I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
