But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I didn't notice because vodka
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
