i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
