Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
