You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
