I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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