You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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