Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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