My friends, they love my intelligence
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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