Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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