a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
