Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I came so hard my ears popped.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
