i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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