So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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