thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
