sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
