I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
