Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
