TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
