Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
