yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
