The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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