she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
