Can Purell be used as lube?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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