So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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