My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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