Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
