I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i don't like sucking hair
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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