Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
