I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
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Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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