sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
