I'm jealous of your bromance
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
40s are totally the cure
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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