Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
