Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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