My boss' voice literally gives me gas
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
