My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i drank out of a bidet.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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