So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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