I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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