you have to choose: penises or morals?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
