just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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