out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
