I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
