why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
