I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
