I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize