I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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