I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
