We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Is that strawberry winking at me??
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
