life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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