R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
