We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
