So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize