was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
